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rambeltilx:

birdghost:

videohall:

A parakeet trying his hardest to say ‘Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition’

I’M CRYING

the spanish inqui-baby bird

(via winterwashere)

9houl:

transparent trash dad for all of your trash dad needs (◡‿◡✿)

9houl:

transparent trash dad for all of your trash dad needs (◡‿◡✿)

(via crabbyhunter)

tres-minutos-con-la-realidad:

“You’re a wizard, Harry,” Hagrid said. “And you’re coming to Hogwarts.”

“What’s Hogwarts?” Harry asked.

“It’s wizard school.”

“It’s not a public school, is it?”

“No, it’s privately run.”

“Good. Then I accept. Children are not the property of the state; everyone who wishes to do so has the right to offer educational goods or services at a fair market rate. Let us leave at once.”

***

“Malfoy bought the whole team brand-new Nimbus Cleansweeps!” Ron said, like a poor person. “That’s not fair!”

“Everything that is possible is fair,” Harry reminded him gently. “If he is able to purchase better equipment, that is his right as an individual. How is Draco’s superior purchasing ability qualitatively different from my superior Snitch-catching ability?”

“I guess it isn’t,” Ron said crossly.

Harry laughed, cool and remote, like if a mountain were to laugh. “Someday you’ll understand, Ron.”

***

Professor Snape stood at the front of the room, sort of Jewishly. “There will be no foolish wand-waving or silly incantations in this class. As such, I don’t expect many of you to appreciate the subtle science and exact art that is potion-making. However, for those select few who possess, the predisposition…I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death.”

Harry’s hand shot up.

“What is it, Potter?” Snape asked, irritated.

“What’s the value of these potions on the open market?”

“What?”

“Why are you teaching children how to make these valuable products for ourselves at a schoolteacher’s salary instead of creating products to meet modern demand?”

“You impertinent boy–”

“Conversely, what’s to stop me from selling these potions myself after you teach us how to master them?”

“I–”

“This is really more of a question for the Economics of Potion-Making, I guess. What time are econ lessons here?”

“We have no economics lessons in this school, you ridiculous boy.”

Harry Potter stood up bravely. “We do now. Come with me if you want to learn about market forces!”

The students poured into the hallway after him. They had a leader at last.

***

Harry and Ron stood before the Mirror of Erised. “My God,” Ron said. “Harry, it’s your dead parents.”

Harry’s eyes flicked momentarily over to the mirror. “So it is. This information is neither useful nor productive. Let us leave at once, to assist Hagrid in his noble enterprise of raising as many dragon eggs as he sees fit, in spite of our country’s unjust dragon-trading restrictions.”

“But it’s your parents, Harry,” Ron said. Ron never really got it.

Harry sighed. “The fundamental standard for all relationships is the trader principle, Ron.”

“I don’t understand,” Ron said.

“Of course you don’t,” said Harry affectionately. “This principle holds that we should interact with people on the basis of the values we can trade with them – values of all sorts, including common interests in art, sports or music, similar philosophical outlooks, political beliefs, sense of life, and more. Dead people have no value according to the trader principle.”

“But they gave birth to y–”

“I made myself, Ron,” Harry said firmly.

***

“Give me your wand, boy,” Voldemort hissed.

“I cannot do that. This wand represents my wealth, which is itself a tangible result of my achievements. Wealth is the product of man’s capacity to think,” Harry said bravely.

Voldemort gasped.

“There is a level of cowardice lower than that of the conformist: the fashionable non-conformist.”

Voldemort began to melt. Harry lit a cigarette, because he was the master of fire.

“The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities. The minimum wage is a tax on the successful. The market will naturally dictate the minimum wage without the government stepping in to determine arbitrary limits.”

Voldemort howled.

“I’m going to sell copies of my wand at an enormous markup,” Harry said, “and you can buy one like everyone else.”

Voldemort had been defeated.

“He hated us for our freedom,” Ron said.

“No, Ron,” Harry said. “He hated us for our free markets.”

Hermione ached with desire for the both of them to master her, but nobody paid her any attention. They had empires to build.

(via melusina68)

meganbagels:

This fine artistic rendering of a Potoo family is done by Steph Laberis and prints are available for $20 through Shanalogic. 

lil’ brudder, I saw this and thought of you, literaryvice432. <3

(via addamatic)

how to tell you haven’t written porn in a while:
your fic? the one you planned to be gen? is suddenly a romance.

I usually find myself having the opposite problem…

vvisti:

Quick Nobunaga doodles ‘cause I just found out that he’s super fun to draw.

(via chrolloneon)

kkokonose:

i was going to draw C.T. with a sparrow. it went downhill from there.

bruh

screwtheatlantic:

We try to watch films together, and it starts off well, but somehow we always end up out of sync. 

(via grandtheftpumpkin)

I&#8217;m pretty certain that fandom has discussed the comparison of these two scenes to death (hahaha) when I wasn&#8217;t paying attention, but there&#8217;s one thing I&#8217;d like to contribute to the discussion. One, tiny thing: in the scene where everyone goes to crash site alpha, there is no clear chain of command.
Even worse - eveyone on the team was, or is, an active commander for a continuous period of time.
Even worser - some of the people here ended up commanding the other people here: Carolina was Wash&#8217;s commander, who was Tucker and Caboose&#8217;s commander, who&#8217;d been Church&#8217;s subordinates, who&#8217;s now Carolina&#8217;s subordinate (sort of).
What we have here is a clusterfuck waiting to happen. Which it did.
Y&#8217;see, the result of Tucker&#8217;s first data gathering operation was that he decided it wasn&#8217;t worth the dead bodies, and that should circumstances unreasonably endanger his teammates, he should retreat.
That second data gather operation, Tucker assesses the situation: bullets don&#8217;t work (super effective shields), Church&#8217;s connection with the computer is iffy at best and no one (not even Church) has any idea how long the transfer is going to take. They&#8217;re outnumbered and even more enemies are popping literally out from nowhere (again), and the last time that happened? Wash, Donut and Sarge ended up getting taken and they all ended up in the middle of a genocide that&#8217;s dressed up as a civil war.
Tucker doesn&#8217;t trust Wash and Carolina&#8217;s judgement anymore (if he ever did, if I&#8217;m being perfectly honest). He&#8217;s never liked the way they&#8217;ve done things, and he sure as hell refuses to end up like them, all bitter and angry. Say what you will about Tucker, but he&#8217;s capable of looking ahead and figuring out which outcome he&#8217;d like the best. He doesn&#8217;t like doing that (hates it in fact), but bit by bit he&#8217;s learning that he dislikes the consequences of not doing it even more.
So &#8230;there you have it. This scene isn&#8217;t just what Tucker&#8217;s learnt, but also about how he&#8217;s butting heads with Carolina over who&#8217;s calling the shots. And Carolina (who&#8217;s totally the one calling the shots) sees this, and sees that she has to take that into account while planning future stratetgies. That explains why she even let Tucker near her plans for the fight against the mercs. She knew that if she didn&#8217;t, Tucker would somehow find a way to fuck things up. Again. In the name of good, of course.

I’m pretty certain that fandom has discussed the comparison of these two scenes to death (hahaha) when I wasn’t paying attention, but there’s one thing I’d like to contribute to the discussion. One, tiny thing: in the scene where everyone goes to crash site alpha, there is no clear chain of command.

Even worse - eveyone on the team was, or is, an active commander for a continuous period of time.

Even worser - some of the people here ended up commanding the other people here: Carolina was Wash’s commander, who was Tucker and Caboose’s commander, who’d been Church’s subordinates, who’s now Carolina’s subordinate (sort of).

What we have here is a clusterfuck waiting to happen. Which it did.

Y’see, the result of Tucker’s first data gathering operation was that he decided it wasn’t worth the dead bodies, and that should circumstances unreasonably endanger his teammates, he should retreat.

That second data gather operation, Tucker assesses the situation: bullets don’t work (super effective shields), Church’s connection with the computer is iffy at best and no one (not even Church) has any idea how long the transfer is going to take. They’re outnumbered and even more enemies are popping literally out from nowhere (again), and the last time that happened? Wash, Donut and Sarge ended up getting taken and they all ended up in the middle of a genocide that’s dressed up as a civil war.

Tucker doesn’t trust Wash and Carolina’s judgement anymore (if he ever did, if I’m being perfectly honest). He’s never liked the way they’ve done things, and he sure as hell refuses to end up like them, all bitter and angry. Say what you will about Tucker, but he’s capable of looking ahead and figuring out which outcome he’d like the best. He doesn’t like doing that (hates it in fact), but bit by bit he’s learning that he dislikes the consequences of not doing it even more.

So …there you have it. This scene isn’t just what Tucker’s learnt, but also about how he’s butting heads with Carolina over who’s calling the shots. And Carolina (who’s totally the one calling the shots) sees this, and sees that she has to take that into account while planning future stratetgies. That explains why she even let Tucker near her plans for the fight against the mercs. She knew that if she didn’t, Tucker would somehow find a way to fuck things up. Again. In the name of good, of course.